Nightmare

I made a crazy proposal to someone today. I can't believe it myself either, but I needed it badly. Will I be hurting myself even more through the process? Or will it be better? But at this moment, I felt at ease while waiting for an answer.

I am lost. I have never been so lost in relationships. Only when we have been there will we understand.

I think I am mad. I'm not thinking properly, but its too painful... Especially when I can't tell anyone, and I only can accept what's going on.

When will I wake up from this whole nightmare?