Temptation - The Root to all Evil.

If you have been following my blog for quite sometime, you would have known that I started this identity MissyBlackDiary because of an individual, someone whom I used to love dearly. Because of how things ended, we were unable to be friends (mainly due to me) for quite awhile, until I fell for another.. (who had left, but that's another story).

Yesterday, that individual (let's call him A) was alone with me at my home.

It has been quite awhile since I last saw him as he's busy with work and life, but yesterday knowing that I'm not feeling well, offered to deliver dinner since he's free for the evening. We sat and ate dinner like before, chatting about our common friends and life in general.

Now - I've had a long history with him, and we had many rendezvous sessions in the past. And while it seemed natural that things will progress to sex after the dinner, I was firm and did not allow that to happen.

He was frisky and restless throughout the after-dinner chat. He sat closer and attempted to demo-massage me (which is guaranteed to make me horny, as proven before), but I did not succumb to temptation.

However, I'm certainly no angel.

I honestly told him, that it is very easy to have sex with him (since we are alone in the house), and the temptation is definitely there. But no, I don't think I want to deal with the aftermath. That said, I could have given him a HJ or BJ to help, but I wasn't interested. I was a giver, and because of that I was hurt badly. I relate my honest feelings to him, and suddenly something strikes me.

I have changed.

If it was in the past, I would dive into sex with A, no questions asked. After all, I do have feelings for him. But the last episode with the other taught me something, that temptation is the root to all evil. If I wasn't tempted, I would not have fallen so deeply with someone who just decided to dump me away after he realized he couldn't carry on. If I wasn't tempted, I would not be so badly hurt and scarred.

A respected me as I explained my stand, and for that I am grateful. Though he was horny as hell, he nodded and patiently listen as I poured my heart out to him. 

At the end of the night, he left with a mega hard-on, while I was left alone in an empty house again. I am still very broken, and still very disappointed, but I will deal with it.

I had to.