When

When the heart feels warm as you think of someone, it simply means you really adore that person. But that doesn't mean both of you have to be together.

When I tell someone I miss him, its genuinely how I feel. But that doesn't mean I must see him.

When I look at the old stuff that reminds me of him, I'll smile and tell myself, 'Thank you for being by my side till now.'

When he reprimands you for something stupid you've done, it means he cares. But that doesn't mean he feels you're stupid. He knows you're hurt and just do not want you to repeat it.

When the physical attraction is still there whenever both of you meet, you know its time to stay away for awhile. Resisting temptation, never easy.

At the end of the day, the heart feels happy having him as a close friend. 

However, as I gained one, I lost one.

I will hold on to this once-lost friendship even tighter, and let go of the one who decided to go.

Sometimes I'll step back to look at what has happened and how much it has changed me. I realised I can never go back to that route anymore. The fear of being abandoned at any point in time, the horror of guessing what the other party is thinking, and even the excitement of meeting up for sex. Honestly, it is an episode I want to discard. We were very close friends (frankly, I don't think I will open up as much to anyone anymore) and I am still grateful about it. I wished we can remain as close as ever, but I realised that the other party do not treasure what we have after all. And I am saying all these with inner peace.

A month ago, I would have been still bitter about what has happened. But now, I guessed I'm more or less settled. There are no heartaches anymore (It has numbed), and though I still find myself thinking a little about him everyday, I know it is purely a habit. 

I still wish you all the best. And I still pray for your well being whenever I go to the temple. I might be a stranger to you now, but you were once a very deer friend to me. I don't know if you are reading this, but it doesn't matter. Be happy, be very happy. :)