We are All Healed.

I can't deny that I am tempted, whenever you mentioned the 3 magical alphabets. Whenever you teased me through the messages, it felt like the good old days when we were in love... Only that... we are not now.

Sometimes I wonder, if you are not so busy working now, would things be very different? I remember the other day you told me, that you are very busy.. And that is the only reason why you rejected my proposal (which is a stupid proposal by the way and I'm grateful for that), that is the time where I feel protected by you. And I am once again happy that we are still friends.

In all honesty, I want us to remain as friends now. And just that. Doesn't matter with or without benefits. I just want to keep you close to my heart, and for us to meet up once in a while to talk about everything under the sun, that to me is enough.

I can't say how grateful I am to have you back in my life again (thanks to someone), and I guess sometimes in life, there will be one person whom you might not be with, but will be special to you always.

I admit that sometimes I'll still look at the stars and think of you. How we stared into the sky together that night, chatting. But that is a very different feeling now. I was lost, because I lost you, but now, my heart felt warm, because I have you, right beside me.

I've hurt you, and vice versa. But we are all healed now, no? :)

Thank You

Its been a long time since I wrote to him, but I managed to come up with a long thank-you note. No matter how simple my words sounded, I really thank him from the bottom of my heart. It is not easy finding a soulmate whom I can chat everything with, and for that I am really grateful. 

But what's special was this particular part that I wrote, 'This is something I have never told you before.... you really gave me some of my sweetest and happiest days in this lifetime. Next life I'll be your wife if we ever meet! Promise! Hehe! :)'

Whatever has happened, is over. We are still very close friends, and that is what matters most. While reminiscing the good old days, I suddenly realised something as well. It's a pity that the other, who was once very dear to me has decided to let go of even the bare minimum, a friendship. That period of time was magical, it felt as though I've finally found someone who understands me, someone who know what I've been going through. I had treasured that friendship so much. I never regretted knowing him, in fact I believe he entered my life for a reason. I guess I just felt that its such a waste, that the friendship is lost.

Someone told me that if I am able to smile while thinking about you, that is the time when I've really moved on.

:)

Flashbacks are Interesting

Sometimes flashbacks are interesting, they give you a so familiar yet so distant feeling.

When you tapped me on my shoulder, I instantly knew what you wanted. It was an outing with others around, but that didn't stop us from having physical contact. Was it pure lust from your side, or was it the flashbacks?

I'm pretty sure you still remember our romps back then, even though it had been a few years back. Those were the fun and exciting days, aren't they? The moment you tossed that box of durex over, those eyes of yours looking at me lovingly, your touch...

As I slowly let the past seep into the present, I realized while I miss your touch, the feelings are often coupled with a heavy heart afterwards. As I pleasured myself to a high, what I had after the climax was a dull ache in the heart, the void that perhaps no man can ever fill anymore.

Then I come back to reality, and.. It hit me. That was pure lust on my side, and... it just got worst recently as my sexdrive hit a new high. I acknowledged it, but I also know that I am not tempted to have an affair with anyone anymore.

I have always been truthful in this blog of mine, and because of that I tend to be very honest when communicating with people who emailed me. In fact, this blog had became an escapade compared to my other world. There are still things I refrain from revealing in order to protect the people around me as well as myself. But...

Perhaps one day, when I couldn't take it any more, My story will be told.... Perhaps.